he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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