I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize