Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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