can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
