I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
