When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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