bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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