nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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