super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
