dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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