i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
