I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
