69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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