I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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