do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
