Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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