Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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