ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
