shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
