I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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