We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
