Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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