She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
