who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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