I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
