The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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