Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
