i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
