.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
