She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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