I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
