I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
