I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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