i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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