I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
