Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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