i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
