dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
