Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
