i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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