maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
