I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize