Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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