I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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