great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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