Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
