Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
