why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
