they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
