you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
