He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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