Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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