i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
