It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
