So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
