im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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