Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
