The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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