it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
