let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize