I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
