how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
