i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
