i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
