can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
