your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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